remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
ok first of all what the fuck
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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