i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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