I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
