I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we're making bets on your personal life
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
