i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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