i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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