But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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