Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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