I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
