You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
