I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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