new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
