After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
