Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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