i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
