i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
