Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
