All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize