how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this just has baby written all over it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
