Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
