Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
