How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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