with your own penis?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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