seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
