she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
