So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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