this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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