I think my fart just growled at me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
