Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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