3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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