and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
