Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
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only if we run a train.
done.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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