I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We have started to decorate penises.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
