I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize