my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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