fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
