one two three fourrrrnication!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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