This girl is more easily done than said...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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