is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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