do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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