You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
