saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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