Do you still have your period?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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