Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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