On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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