hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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