I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
