i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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