I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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