I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
