What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
