i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
