I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
