I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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