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If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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