I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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