I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize