you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
