HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
