idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I lost the right to judge tonight
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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