I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
