he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize