At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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