..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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