I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
